Statistics vs Perception

Statistics show that over the course of a lifetime, homosexuals average between 50-300 sexual partners. They have a high rate of sexually transmitted diseases. Domestic violence, drug abuse, alcoholism and suicide rates are higher within the gay community than among heterosexuals.
A religious website made this statement:
One of the goals of the homosexual agenda is to "indoctrinate children in the nation's public schools by convincing kids that homosexuality is a normal and healthy lifestyle." Because schools fail to warn children of the dangers of homosexuality, and because it is taught that homosexuality is not only "normal" but "healthy" as well, homosexuality starts to seem like a good choice to young school children. To supplement this many schools give homosexuals preferential treatment, for instance protecting a homosexual student from teasing in cases where they would not protect a heterosexual student. Homosexuals are also given exclusive clubs that have the goal of recruiting additional students to homosexuality.
These are just some of ways that students are tricked into mistakenly thinking that homosexuality is a desirable lifestyle. As people get older and study the word of God they become less susceptible to being misled like this. This is the reason the homosexual agenda targets school children for recruitment into homosexuality.
Commonly, these are the statistics and views being taught by the Church and are the beliefs of many Christians, and non-Christians alike. However, statistics and perceptions are two different things. I will agree that the statistics mentioned above may be true, but I will tell you that the religious statement made was a “perception.”
Many Christians believe that the “homosexual agenda” is to recruit and encourage people to be homosexual. This, however, is not true.
A perception is a view, but a statistic is a fact, and many people’s perceptions are viewed as factual.
This happens when someone looks at a group of people and comes to a conclusion. They think they know the motives and intensions of those people based on what they see, and make their judgment. Their conclusions are based on what they see, not what they know. Once a conclusion is made, it becomes truth to them, and discussion is no longer an option.
At this point, I will state my own fact. Most people who come to these conclusions do not know a homosexual personally. By personally, I mean they do not know someone they love who is homosexual. You will also notice that those who do have a loved one who is homosexual have a different “perception” of them. Why? Because they know the person and see who they really are. They realize that the perception is not true. I have met many people, who after getting to know me, have stated that their view of homosexuals had changed, I was nothing like what they perceived a homosexual to be.
The Church tends to view homosexuals as sexual perverts who recruit their children, who are God haters, they are deviants who shove their agenda down their throats, they are an abomination to God and they are going to hell.
Would it be fair for a homosexual to believe that all Christians have an agenda to convince the world that they are sexual perverts who recruit children, hate God, are deviants and an abomination to God and are going to hell?
Is it fair for a Christian to believe that all homosexuals have the opposite agenda?
The answer to both questions is no. Most people believe what they want to believe regardless of the truth. The Church hates homosexuals and homosexuals hate the Church, that’s a common belief, and in some cases, it is the truth.
But, what if someone from the outside took the time to listen to someone from the inside? What if someone from the outside started to look and listen with their heart as someone from the inside spoke from theirs? What could possibly change? I believe if both sides, homosexuals and Christians, took the time to do this, an amazing thing would happen. The truth is, hate is being spewed from both sides whether either side wants to admit it or not. We often hear Christians say, “love the sinner, hate the sin, but if you are honest with yourself, most of us do that with other sins, but not with homosexuality.
You may be thinking, “Why should I as a Christian lower my moral standard and listen to a homosexual?” “They should be listening to what God has to say!” Romans 9:12-21 gives us an answer, God said: “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Wow! Who does this? Be willing to associate with people of low position, do not be proud, feed my enemy, bless those who persecute me, be at peace with everyone, honor others above myself? Guilty? I know I am! And that is exactly why the hate is being spewed. Neither side obeys the word of God, plain and simple. So why does the world hate Christians? Because our actions speak louder than our words. We can’t obey the simple stuff, yet we expect the world to change their evil ways!
Some of the statics about homosexuality are true. There is a high rate of promiscuity, alcohol, drug use, suicide and sexually transmitted diseases. If you talk to most homosexuals, if they are honest, they will tell you this is true.
As I begin to speak from my heart about what really goes on inside a homosexual, I ask for two things. Of course, I cannot speak for homosexuals as a whole, but I do ask that if you are a Christian, open your heart and listen. Second, if you are a homosexual, be honest with yourself to see if what I am saying is the truth. Healing on both sides can only happen if we all are willing.
Early as a child, I knew I was different. I was sexually active in elementary school. Nothing seemed unusual, other boys my age did this too. Typically, boys hate girls and girls hate boys. But as they begin to reach puberty, boys love girls and girls love boys. Weird how that happens. However, for me, and for most homosexuals, that change never happened. We realized that our attractions towards the girls were not there, and our attraction to boys has become intense. Why does this happen? I think it is interesting that many homosexuals follow the same pattern that I do. I feel that many things happen in a homosexuals life that steer them towards homosexuality. Most Christians believe people “choose” to be gay, but this is not true.
Most homosexuals knew they were different at a very early age. For me, I knew I was different when I was 5 years old, but I didn’t know what it was until I was in health class in 7th grade, I was only 12 years old. Can you imagine what a 12 year old child feels like when everyone in the class is making fun of homosexuals, and you just realized that you were experiencing those feelings? Would you have raised your hand and said, “hey, I think I am gay?” or would you, like most of us, have been terrified that anyone would find out? Imagine the rejection and torment you would have had to go through if anyone ever found out. Add to that, your mother takes you to Church every week, and the Pastor preaches against homosexuality, and states that all homosexuals go to hell. At an early age, we learn that people are harsh, cruel, unsympathetic, uncaring, unwilling to understand and are very judgmental. Thus, the roots of homosexuality grow deeper.
It would be very easy for me to believe, and I understand why homosexuals feel they are born gay. I knew at a very early age. It certainly was not a choice, I didn’t even know what it was. That is why it is so frustrating for me and many homosexuals when people say we made a choice, they just don’t understand. If it was a choice, why would I have choose that? I would be insane!
There is however a pattern that leads up to this. Many will be able to relate. My father was not a good role model. He never had anything good to say to or about me. His words to me were always negative and hurtful. I had no male role model in my life as a child. My mother, on the other hand, was very loving. She was understanding, she was my protector, she was my leader and my role model. At a very early age, I perceived men as mean and cruel. I perceived women as loving, protective and caring. I felt safe with women, and I felt fear around men. My role model as a little boy was a woman. I wanted to be like my mother, and as a child, before my mind was fully developed, I perceived women as good and men as bad. That was not my choice, it is what I learned. When we used to play house, I always wanted to be the mother, I didn’t want to be the man, I wanted to be the woman. Both my parents saw this, but nothing was ever said. I think many gay men can relate to this. How many of us played dress up in mom’s clothing? We didn’t know better, and most times when we did this, mom laughed, we associated that with acceptance, I know I did. What did dad do? Nothing, maybe call you another name, like sissy? It just drove home what we felt inside, men are cruel, men are mean and they reject me.
By the time I reached school age, my perception of men and women have already begun to take form. Most of my friends were girls. I could relate to them. I had 2 sisters and no brothers. I preferred playing with barbies over building a fort or playing football with the neighborhood boys. This of course made the other boys push me away. Dad never taught me about sports, he never took me out to play ball, he never taught me how to be a boy. I was always around girls, I didn’t want to get dirty, I didn’t want to play football and get hurt, I didn’t know that that is what boys were supposed to do. Besides, boys were like men, they were mean.
The whole “male” thing was a mystery to me. I am sure women can relate, men don’t understand women, and women don’t understand men. They are two different creatures, with two different views and emotions. In my mind, I developed like a girl. As I got older, that mystery to me became a yearning. Why do I look like them, but I don’t feel like them? My emotions, my interests and my desires were not at all what other boys felt. The boys in High School sensed that I was different, I wasn’t good in sports, all my friends were girls, I didn’t do “boy” things, so I was picked on. The gym teachers also joined in with the crowd, they made fun of me in front of the entire class. I remember how the one gym teacher used to trip me in class so I would fall in front of all the other boys. There was a time when the gym teacher came out wearing a long blonde wig, skipped around the gym saying “look at me, I am Danny G” flopping his wrist as he emphasized the “G”. All the boys laughed, and all I wanted to do was die. I remember telling my mom that I believed I was going to die young. She asked why I would say anything like that, I said,”because I will probably kill myself.” You can’t imagine the pain and confusion that goes on inside a person as they struggle with their own homosexuality. Toppled with the fear of being found out is devastating, and all we hear later in life is that we made this choice.
I am angered when the Church makes statements like:
“To supplement this many schools give homosexuals preferential treatment, for instance protecting a homosexual student from teasing in cases where they would not protect a heterosexual student. Homosexuals are also given exclusive clubs that have the goal of recruiting additional students to homosexuality.”
Are homosexuals fighting for the kids in school who are gay? You bet they are, because they know what they went through and don’t want to see others have to endure the same things they had to! Wake up people, you see the need, you HEAR the cry! But we close our eyes to the hurt and we attack them with shame. Shame on who? Homosexuals are hurting, yet they are caring people. They are NOT trying to recruit straight people to become homosexuals, they are protecting the hurt they felt years ago and they are fighting back! Can you blame them? If you cut yourself, you will notice how you are very attentive to that wound. You protect it from being hurt more. You bandage it up and tend to it until it heals. If anything comes near that wound, you will do whatever it takes to protect it. That is exactly what is happening within the gay community. They are wounded, some worse than others. When Christians come at them with weapons, they will naturally protect their wounds, and you would do the same. So how does the homosexual undo the damage that was done in their past? They can’t, but the Church continues to pour salt on their wounds.
As an adult, I, as many other homosexuals have turned to their Church for help. Most of them were rejected. At this point I will not go in to the many horror stories I can tell you about how I was treated by the Church. But my point is, many Christians think homosexuals don’t want anything to do with God. If this were true, why are there “gay” Churches? Because they want God in their life, but the Church rejected them, therefore, they created their own. We don’t approve of abortions, or divorce, but we accept them. We don’t see Churches sprouting up just for the divorced or those who had abortions.
Many in the gay community will confirm that a long term relationship is about 2-5 years. Homosexual relationships usually do not last very long. Many of those relationships are considered “open” relationships, meaning you are free to participate in sexual activity with other men while still in your relationship. It is not unusual to hear a gay man say they hate men. Again, I cannot speak for all homosexual men, but if those who are gay want to be completely honest, they know I am telling the truth.
I am not looking down on the gay community at all. I just feel this all ties in together with what happened in most of our lives. Some of us never felt the embrace, love or acceptance of our father. We didn’t feel it with any male role model, but we never stopped searching for it. Our manhood was never affirmed, so we continue to find it through other men. I think deep down inside we are still that lost and hurt little boy. We search for it in sex, because we feel that is the most intimate way we can be with a man. But when two men have the same issues, they will never find what they are looking for in each other. I know the excitement I felt when a man was interested in me, and I know the emptiness I felt many times after a sexual encounter. Most of the homosexual lifestyle is lust, not a whole lot of love. We know it, yet we continue in it.
Heterosexual men play a big role in the healing process. Homosexuality is not about sex, it is about wanting to be loved. I think if a heterosexual man took the time to embrace a gay man, and could show him how men love each other without being sexual, some of that past hurt may begin to heal. Just having someone to listen to your pain helps, but having someone share your pain, not being afraid to put their arm around you, and tell you they love you, no matter what, heals. Unlike most heterosexual men, God is not afraid to open His arms to a homosexual.